With Gratitude

It’s been a month since I posted and I have lots and lots of stuff to share, but today I am only going to talk about one topic – my amazing husband, his incredible friends, and the overwhelming gratitude I feel towards everyone who participated in the Pan Mass Challenge these past 3 days. I can’t begin to describe the gamut of emotions I have felt throughout this whole journey – joy, happiness, amazement, jealousy, gratefulness. I get exhausted just thinking about driving 192 miles and can’t imagine riding a bike this distance, but over 4000 people took off from Sturbridge early on Saturday morning and rolled into Provincetown less than 36 hours later. It must have been something to see – and I am sorry that I was not there to thank those riders in person. Next year for certain!!

The past month has been a whirlwind of activity for Pat and I. We put together the benefit, packed up the Somerville apartment, moved to Holliston, tackled some house projects that needed immediate attention, Pat worked full time, did some traveling for work and squeezed in some training for the Pan Mass. He has not had a moment for himself in at least a month and probably longer. It’s been a long and busy few weeks – I can’t tell you the last time I saw Pat relax – he hasn’t had a chance to see any of the movies I know he wanted to see, I haven’t seen a book other than a computer manual in his hand in weeks, and he hasn’t even been able to catch 5 minutes of the Daily Show or Colbert Report (nor have we found the time to hook up the TiVo, so I can’t even say we have a backlog of them for him to watch).

The past few weeks, Pat’s training for the Pan Mass has taken a back seat to everything else in our lives. I know he wanted to spend a lot more time on the bike or at least at the gym before this weekend. Had this been a typical July that would have been possible. In Somerville, the gym was 5 minutes from our house. And since I had just started back to work part time, Pat would have had a lot more flexibility in his free time. However with the new house and move to the suburbs, we lost a lot of this extra time. Commutes are now longer, getting the oil burner fixed and having hot water takes precedent over a bike ride, and the weather hasn’t exactly been cooperative. Too much rain and heat and not being “hard core” Pat didn’t ride too much in the rain. Typically he would have made that up at the gym, running a dozen miles or biking for hour, but we cancelled our membership in July and have yet to locate a new gym that will be convenient for both of us. We both knew all of this would have an impact on Pat’s stamina, but there wasn’t a whole lot we could to change things. We chalked it up to bad timing, but don’t regret any of the decisions we’ve made this summer.

I talked to Pat on Saturday just before noon when he reached the lunch stop. I immediately knew he was frustrated. He was disappointed in his performance thus far and was not looking forward to the rest of the ride. He told Mark, Alex and Tom to go on ahead without him. A few hours later I got the call I was waiting for – he had made it to Bourne and the first 111 miles were behind him. I think all he wanted to do was get a shower and collapse. And I know that’s what he did. I had tears in my eyes when I talked to him and heard how exhausted he was – I was so proud of him and wanted to be there and tell him that in person, but had to settle for a phone call of as much encouragement as I could give him and lots of “I love you’s”.

He called shortly after 11AM on Sunday morning from Provincetown. He was wiped out, but at the finish line. All 4 guys made it to then end in an amazingly short amount of time. I felt incredibly proud of my husband, the rest of Team Appendiceal Wheels and everyone else who completed the journey. I am in awe of their stamina and determination. I never doubted for a minute that Pat would make it the whole way – even though I know he himself has some serious doubts. He can and usually does, do anything he puts his mind and body to. I told him that he was my hero, that he is has always been my rock. I love him with all my heart and can’t wait until he gets home tonight so I can feed him, rehydrate him, rub his feet, his back and whatever else is aching on him and just hold him close.

I cannot find enough ways to thank everyone who helped us with this. To those who donated, attended the benefit, bought tshirts, pictures and other stuff “Thank you!” - Pat not only reached his goal of $3300 he surpassed it by over $1000. To Mark Stephan, Tom Esch, and Alex Calhoun the other riders on Team Appendiceal Wheels – “YOU GUYS ROCK!!!” You are amazing, caring, generous and incredible people – thank you for being who you are. Mark, you were the ringleader in this endeavor and without you Team Appendiceal Wheels, AKA “Our Team Jean Kicked Your Team Jean’s Butt” would not exist. Tom, despite how busy you were, you remained dedicated and focused – thank you. And Alex, sincere thanks for motivating our men and helping them obtain their goal. I could not ask for better friends. To everyone else who played a role – it hasn’t gone unnoticed, the support and assistance you provided was vital. I will be forever grateful for this opportunity to raise awareness about appendix cancer and pseudomyxoma peritonei.

Lastly, I want to say a public THANK YOU to Pat. He is an amazing man, a wonderful husband, a conscientious care giver and all around great guy. I would not be the person that I am today if not for him and I know he feels the same about me. He has held my hand through all our trials and tribulations and tonight I want to hold his hand and thank him for always thinking of me first and putting his own needs and desires on the back burner. (And give him complete control of the remote….) He is incredible and I am proud to be his wife, his partner and the love of his life. WAY TO GO HONEY!!!!

And to end things on a statistical note…The money raised by the Pan Mass Challenge will go to the Jimmy Fund at Dana Farber Cancer Institute where 99 cents of every dollar goes to cancer research. Though they don’t currently have a specialist to treat Appendiceal Cancer or PMP, Pat and I hope to sit down and talk with them and make them aware of how important the right treatment is for this type of cancer. The wrong treatment will cause more harm than good and we know how important it is for this disease to be properly diagnosed and treated.

Posted by jean at August 6, 2006 06:34 PM